It all started in January. I was doing my silk solo on a gig; when I reached my final inversion to prep for my drop, it happened. I audibly grunted. I AUDIBLY GRUNTED AS I INVERTED. Let the horror of that sink in for you, unless it’s too much to bear, in which case skip immediately to the next section.

Now, the audience didn’t hear it, and nothing bad happened, except for the horrible terrible realization that I was a completely and appallingly de-conditioned mess. Somehow, in the flurry of teaching, gig prep, parenting, and all the other stuff I pack my days with, I had forgotten one very important thing: training. I had let myself slide into the De-conditioned Zone, and it was a dark, dark place, friends.

I spent the next few months in complete denial. Surely, if I just demo-ed more in class, it would all magically come back. I build muscle with lightening speed, and I would book time to train on my own. Of course I would! I would absolutely NOT book time and then cancel it….. or book time and spend it all on emails that suddenly HAD to be answered right then and there…. nope nope nope, definitely wouldn’t do that… except I did.

A few weeks and more than a few glasses of wine ago, I realized I was at the tipping point every performance athlete reaches: retire or stay in the game. And friends, when that realization sank in – really sank in – I was like a drowning woman fighting for air. There was no f**king way I was ready to retire, which left one thing. Stage a comeback. Oh sh*t.

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect, and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” – Anna Quindlen

Creating a Circus Intensive

Know thyself. I knew that, if this was going to happen, I was going to need way more accountability than I had previously employed. It was time for A Circus Intensive. Lots of you expressed interest in how I did that outside of a dedicated program, so I figured I’d share my process with you in the hope that you’ll find it useful! As this journey of pain and triumph continues, I’ll keep you posted – I KNOW I’m not the only one who wants to get back in the arena, but is completely overwhelmed at the thought. Or maybe I’m just talking to myself. Who knows.

Step One – Set Some Lofty Goals

OK. What do you want to do? Here are some ideas that jumped out at me, but you do you.

Return to circus after a long hiatus (injury, pregnancy, life, etc).
Explore an aspect of circus you haven’t poked around in yet (a new apparatus, a different style of performance, injury prevention, etc.).
Get your act together – literally.

The list could go on forever. Whatever you decide, make sure it excites you, and scares you just a little bit.

Step Two – Set Your Parameters

How long do you want your intensive to be?
How much time and money can you realistically dedicate to this venture? I’m a big believer that good training is worth paying for – be really deliberate with your spending.

Don’t skip this step! Setting parameters allows you to jump into training with your whole self. If you set flimsy boundaries, you won’t have edges to push towards. I set my intensive for 3 months, with a none-ya-business budget. 😉

Step Three – Get Your Ass in Class

Pick your classes and make your schedule! For a true intensive, you’ll want to pack as much circus-y goodness into a designated amount of time as you can. Here we go!

Keeping your parameters in mind, choose your classes. You can choose to make one studio your “training home”, or select classes from a bunch of schools.
Supplement with online training (in appropriate disciplines). I chose a couple of supplemental programs – mainly in flexibility and hula hooping. I snagged two of Cirque Physio’s programs (more on Jen Crane next week – she is AMAZING), and a bundle from Deanne Love.

Step Four – Add Sprinkles

Now that you’ve got your goals and parameters set, classes picked out, and supplemental training snagged, you’re ready to add “sprinkles”. This is the stuff you add because it just sounds like so much fun! I added a roller dance class, and a few other frills to reward myself for the ridiculously hard work I’m engaging in. My roller skates came yesterday – I am going to be a fabulous Magical Disco Mermaid! You might choose costume making, stage makeup, tassel twirling, or whatever floats your boat. Ideally, it’s a little ridiculous, and utterly fabulous.

And there you have it! Your intensive is real! Intensives can be one day or one year – whatever fits your life and goals. If you’re feeling stuck or lackluster about your training, or you’re looking to do (what feels like) the impossible, an intensive may be just the kick in the bloomers you need.

Stay tuned for the next few weeks as I blog about this process – opening a can of Whoop-Ass on my ego, getting my PT on, splitting my pants in flexibility class, and more. What intensive are you going to set up for yourself? Tell me all about it in the comments below! Love and pull-ups, Laura