Oh circus training, you can be a cruel mistress. To catch yourself up on my recent circus comeback, click here. Or, you know, just dive in. I don’t care.
I knew it would be hard on my ego to “go back to school” and essentially rewind the tape on my training a bazillion years, but I was REALLY surprised at what shape my neurosis took as I hauled my ass back into classes.
ONE CLASS. That’s all it took for me to be a blithering blob of feelings sobbing in a corner. ONE CLASS. But, an hour and countless little tissue packets later, I was in a weirdly better headspace. Like, a better headspace than I had ever been in with training. I am not prone to cathartic moments of clarity and common sense, but I had an epiphany! Ready? Here it is.
Trust the process.
That’s it. I’m totally serious. But, it wouldn’t be much of a blog post if I left it at that, so I’ll elaborate. 🙂
Trust the Process
If you train, the things will come. Consistency matters. Did you miss that? I’ll say it again. Consistency matters. Want that inversion? Those splits? That muscle? Consistency, friends. If you show up and give 70-90%, the skill will come in time. Now, you don’t necessarily get to determine the time frame (thanks, Mother Nature), but you can rest in the process.
So, I promised myself I would schedule my classes, show up, and give 70-95% every time. Even when I didn’t feel like it. Oh hell, especially when I didn’t feel like it. And you know what? Progress happened.
Just One Thing
Measure your progress, but be careful how you do it. The barometer of your progress should NEVER be, “am I getting better at silks (or trapeze or farting glitter or whatever it is you’re trying to do)?” Too. Broad. Your answer will always be something along the lines of, “No, I still suck.” Enter: the micro-goal.
Instead of “trying to be better at silks”, set a series of micro goals that can be measured. No goal is too small. You heard me. Here are a few of mine:
- 10 inversions in the air (micro-goal: I added one each week) CHECK!
- kicking up to a handstand on my opposite side. CHECK!
- doing my PT before every session. CHECK!
- holding my handstand at the wall a full 30 seconds. CHECK!
- Next week: 3 sets of pendulum inversions, kick up to a handstand on my opposite side again, and whatever else I decide is important between now and then.
I set a goal for each and every session, sometimes several. Sometimes, my goal is just to repeat what I did the last time. DO note that a goal doesn’t have to be result oriented (complete kick-up), but can be process oriented (practice kick-up 5x with good form). Practice counts, not just results!
I promised myself I would set and honor my micro-goals, and it’s been amazing.
Change Your Focus, and Let the Work Change YOU
Memory is a bitch. Remember when you could do 10 pull ups with one arm while reciting Hamlet’s soliloquy and eating popcorn? Remember when you were agile? Remember when you could cough without peeing your pants? Whatever it is, make like Frozen and let it go. You are where you are, and you’re going where you want to go. Constantly comparing Now You to Past You is a recipe for self hatred, and ain’t nobody got time for that. Get going on your micro-goals.
What you focus on matters. Focusing on where you’re failing? How you’ve changed? How much you hate your lactose intolerant self right now for eating that entire box of ice cream sandwiches? M’kay, but what you focus on expands. Let the work be your focus, not you. Let the work change you.
Now, no discussion on focus is complete without a quick chat about judging results. Don’t. Evaluate, but don’t judge. I’ve thought a lot about this one recently since I’ve started taking handstand class. See, I can cartwheel just fine to my left, but my right side is HILARIOUS. It’s some weird sideways hop froggy thing that doesn’t even RESEMBLE a cartwheel. And, every time I do it, I make a face (I should never play poker for money), and Ivory yells “DON’T JUDGE IT!”, and I try not to judge it. Then I do. But, this week, my goal was to not judge my cartwheel – to try to find one inch of progress. I DID! I didn’t shriek when I did them. Don’t judge it. Evaluate it, “goal it”, and save the feelings for tonight’s episode of “The Bachelorette”.
I promised myself I would show up, be present, do the work, and just evaluate. I still have “moments”, but that’s all they are – moments. We walk THROUGH the valley of the shadow of death, friends, we don’t build a condo there. Tune in next week, when being a student makes me a better teacher. Love and pull-ups, Laura