M’kay, Dear Danglers. I have to tell you something. There’s a little thing you may be guilty of doing that makes your teacher insane. It’s the kind of thing we have to take a deep breath and count to 10 over. I’m not even kidding. It’s a code red violation. What is this egregious transgression that makes teachers all over the country stabby? What do we bitch about the most in the teachers lounge? What behavior leaves us hyperventilating into a paper bag so we don’t kill you with our death glare?

Undermining our authority in class by trying to teach your fellow students.

Zip It!

Is your name Miss Laura? Are you the teacher of this class? The captain of this zany ship? The top toucan in this jungle? No? Then zip it.

I know, I know – it comes from a good place! I know it does! You have something that works for you, and you want to share it with your fellow students! I totally get that, and it’s what makes us love and appreciate you. BUT (you knew there was a big old BUT in here somewhere), here are some things to consider:

• One of the biggest parts of teaching is giving the student in front of you the instruction they need when they need to hear it. As a coach, there’s a constant ticker-tape of comments and corrections going in my head – safety, technique, aesthetics, student abilities, are they having a crappy day, can I push them, could that weird flamingo hand actually go into something awesome, etc. The wrong input at the wrong time is counterproductive for everyone. I get very protective of my students and their progress, and I don’t take kindly to things that sabotage it, however well meaning. Zip it.
• Students need to hear one clear voice: the coach’s. I’ve been in sessions where I literally couldn’t hear the teacher’s voice because of all the extra “helping” going on. It’s confusing, panic-inducing, and dangerous. Zip it.
• You don’t know what they’re working on. We can only focus on a certain number of things at a time. Doling out unsolicited instruction can overwhelm and discourage someone focusing on making small, specific changes. Zip it.
• It’s rude to undermine your coach. It just is. The assumption is that you know more than your teacher. If that’s true, find a new coach. But I’m guessing it’s just you being a little too big for your britches. Zip it.

Now, I’m not talking about helping a newbie find her footlock while your coach is spotting someone else, or stopping someone from making a bad choice when your teacher isn’t looking (if you see something, say something) – that’s being genuinely helpful and neighborly! I’m talking about interrupting your coach while they’re speaking, blurting out suggestions while someone is working, or making sure everyone in class knows that your old school did it differently. When you feel the urge to share with your fellow students, mind your business and focus on fixing your own darned self.

This Goes for Social Media Too

I’ll use myself as an example here. I’m working on handstands at the moment – they’re challenging for me, but I’m kind of cuckoo for them at the moment. I have A LOT to work on. A lot a lot. Like make-you-cry a lot. I like to post pics of my progress to social media to share my small successes. What’s not helpful? When I get emails from (well-meaning) folks with tons of corrections and suggestions I didn’t ask for. I wind up confused as to what I should be focusing on, and then I come into sessions babbling like a demented bumble bee about hand placement and ribs and feet and omg my butt won’t squeeze and my ankles aren’t together and why won’t my shoulders open and am I crooked and do you think I need canes or blocks or cookies. Then it all has to get untangled until I hear one voice again.

The moral of the story? Unless you’re someone’s coach, just be supportive. Like it, stick a heart on it, virtually applaud, and resist the urge to give feedback if they didn’t ask for it.

Your role in class is student. You can support your classmates by telling them how badass that inversion was, how much you admire that they do everything full out, how impressed you are with their colorful swear words, whatever. But leave the teaching to the teachers. Please and thank you. Love and pull-ups, Laura