1. Are you perfect? Flawless? Everything goes well all the time? Shut up, you are not, and it does not. BUT, I’d never know it from your social media! I want to suggest something outrageous. What if we, as a community, acknowledged our struggles? Would it be so crazy to stop pretending that we’re all superhuman athletes who exist solely on kombucha and moonbeams with a beatific cloud of glitter circling our heads at all times? What would happen if we started creating a culture of honesty in the circus community?

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie

What We Don’t Talk About

When I decided to talk openly about my return to active training, I was warned that it would “tank my business if I admitted I’d let myself get de-conditioned”. Well, it didn’t. And if any student decided against training with me because I talked about my struggles, well, I’m pretty sure we weren’t going to be besties anyway. It did, however, really get me thinking a lot about what we don’t talk about publicly.

We don’t talk about our failures. We don’t talk about the minute we woke up and realized we’d stopped training, lost strength, and couldn’t get through our routine without gasping and flailing like a goldfish on the carpet. We don’t talk about how crappy it feels to realize how much ground you’ve lost, or how daunting it feels to start over. We don’t talk about how scared we are that we can’t do it now that we’re abc age with xyz injuries. We don’t talk about our injuries. We don’t talk about how we thought we’d be farther along than we are, how everyone has that move except you (and you secretly hate your classmates for it), how often we wonder if we’re just not meant to do this thing. We don’t talk about how many of us as artists and students struggle with anxiety and depression, how we struggle to balance the demands of training with the (oftentimes louder) demands of family, other work, and life in general. Until we DO talk about it. And it’s kind of magical.

The Freedom to be Imperfect. Publicly.

I’ve noticed something. When we publicly open up about our struggles – training, balance, mental, emotional, etc – the community responds. Sure, some folks like to insist that all difficulty with life be kept private and under wraps. If that’s you, you do you and suffer quietly. We’ll be over here when you have your nervous breakdown. The vast majority of responses are supportive – me too, I also struggle with that, what helped me was, you are not alone, your timetable isn’t realistic, do you need a training buddy, you’re doing great, keep going, etc. From where I sit, this is what makes our circus community so incredible.

I’m not suggesting that we all use social media as a catch-all confessional and spill our guts on the daily in classes. What I AM suggesting is that sharing struggles – even small ones – helps keep it real for everyone. You might try:

• Sharing the occasional fail video! Laugh and the world laughs with you. We too have wound up with our ass over our heads in that oh-so-dignified position.
• Asking for feedback. Got something you’re stumped over? You’re not the first! Chances are pretty good that, if you put it to the (right) group of folks, you’ll get some great feedback to get you moving towards a happier place.
• Sharing your stories of triumph! Did you FINALLY get that fancy pretzel shape with your legs after a year? Share it! Let people celebrate with you, and remind folks that what we do isn’t learned in a weekend workshop.
• Being a supportive voice. Take a second to cheer someone on, point them towards good resources, commiserate, or offer encouragement. It’s incredible what a few well-chosen words can do.

We get to decide what our circus community will look like. Yes, we often live in (hopefully) friendly and healthy competition. Yes, it’s a business for many. Yes, we want to show our sparkliest selves to the world. That said, keeping it real gives us opportunities to thrive where other communities devolve into posturing and pecking each other to death. I know which one I’d rather be a part of. Go forth and fail publicly, friends! Love and pull-ups, Laura