I Will Never Hold a Handstand (And Other Beliefs that Hold Us Back in Circus)

By 5 commentsUncategorized

You guys, I have a confession to make (it’s not a naughty one, I swear). Ready? …….

I secretly believe that I will never, ever get my handstand.

IT’S TRUE! My goal is to be able to easily and consistently hold a 30 second handstand, with good form, away from a wall. Recently, every time I’ve gotten on my hands (and promptly toppled over), a little voice says, “You’re never going to get this.”

The worst part? I secretly believe it. ME! The champion of the beginner! The one with the core belief that any physical skill can be gained with consistent effort and enough time! The one who tells her students over and over ad nauseum that they WILL get that inversion/hip key/straddle back if they just keep practicing! ME! I don’t believe I’ll ever get my handstand. Ever.

The Sneaky Nature of Secret Beliefs

I know I’m not alone. I think, deep down, we all have secret “I’m never going to” beliefs about our circus work, our circus future, or maybe our circus bodies. If you don’t have one (a belief – I’m assuming you have a body), you probably will at some point. It starts as the usual negative chit chat that we have with ourselves as we try something new. If we have lots of good success on a timeline we’re happy with, the YAAAAAAAAY voice takes over and we get to feel Very Smug; if we struggle and the skill takes foreeeeeeeeeeever, or we make progress only to see it sucked back into the void the next day, and oh my gosh I’m even WORSE than I was last week, well, that’s the making of a secret belief.

So, here we are at a crossroads. You can’t deny your belief once you’ve copped to it – it’s sitting there in broad daylight staring right at you. It’s ugly, and it has huge teeth. Do you slowly back away, and go take up something less (emotionally) risky? Macrame? Jigsaw puzzles? Microwave cuisine? OR, do you throttle that ugly belief (with the huge teeth) and kill it with fire? CAN you kill it? Or will it vanish, only to pop up again somewhere down the road?

You Can Only Do What You Can Do

OK. Let’s assume that you’re not taking up macrame. You’re in this topsy-turvy circus game to win, and you’re going to stick around long enough to cross that finish line. But…. how?

  • Just the facts, ma’am. This is one of my favorite techniques in the world to tame my run-away inner critic (also works well for anxiety). The goal is to see your training situation reasonably and logically, without a lot of judgy self criticism sneaking in. What are the facts? Here – I’ll start. I am an adult beginning handstands. Handstands have a very long learning curve in adulthood – years, not months. I have excellent and encouraging coaches. I am an enthusiastic student. When I train consistently, I see noticeable progress. I have not been training consistently, so I am not seeing progress, and am unhappy and frustrated about that. I have been given assurance that, with enough time and practice, my goal is a reasonable one for me. I have no credible evidence to the contrary.
  • Manage your expectations. Are you aiming a little too high? Decided you’re going to train every day for 6 hours until you see the progress you want? Gonna get that inversion by tomorrow if it kills you? Make sure you’re not setting yourself up for a bucket load of disappointment and reinforcing of the “I’m never gonna get it” feedback loop.
    • Often, when I’m in a le poo headspace about my training, it’s because I’m measuring my progress against the end goal, NOT the 25+ tiny goals en route. Dial it back! That’s like a kid just learning her ABC’s getting frustrated because she can’t read Shakespeare yet. One step at a time!!!
    • Having trouble setting reasonable, attainable goals? Your coach can help!
  • Consistency counts. It SUCKS to acknowledge that we’ve been slacking, or haven’t gotten to class for whatever reason, and that we’ve lost a lot of the ground we gained. SUUUUUUCKS. But own it! If you’re not training consistently, mystery solved – it’s not that you “can’t get it”, but that you haven’t been putting in adequate effort to get the results you’re after. No need to beat yourself up, just acknowledge it and make plans to show up.
  • Words have power. Careful about how you speak to yourself! Imagine that you’re speaking to a friend – what would you say? How would you support or encourage yourself? How would you give yourself tough love?
  • Use your brain. Visualize yourself doing the skill. Really SEE it. What would you look like? How would it feel in your body? The more often your brain gets a dynamic picture of you being a badass and DOING IT, the tinier the secret belief will get.
  • OK – what happens if you DON’T succeed? Will the world end? Will the Bachelorette choose Nick (or Sam, or whoever is left on the show that you hate)? Will you fail in every single area of your life? No, you won’t. Don’t make your struggle bigger than it is.
  • Celebrate your wins! Where are you kicking booty? Don’t tell me nowhere, because that’s not a real thing. In your training – where are you winning? Maybe you can’t invert, but your splits are the envy of the eastern seaboard; maybe you can’t climb, but you can sit on your own head; maybe everything seems hard, but damn – you’ve never felt so strong. Take those wins and MAGNIFY them; hold them tight, repeat them like a mantra, celebrate them.
  • Search for examples of success! This is Randy. He’s a fabulous person, and watching his splits progress on Facebook has been SUCH an inspiration and joy. THIS IS WHAT CONSISTENCY LOOKS LIKE. Seek out stories of success in whatever you’re attempting.

I get it – believe me. Our hearts get so wrapped up in our training that it becomes deeply personal. Our lack of success on our apparatus can begin to feel like an accusation, as if we’re failing at absolutely everything. KILL THE BELIEF! If you feed it, it only gets bigger and stronger, until it devours your joy. That would be tragic, so here’s what we’re going to do. You go work on the thing you think you cannot do, and I’m going to go work on the thing I think I cannot do. We’re going to support one another, cheer each other on, slay the stinkin’ thinkin’, and show the f*ck up, because joy matters. If we let the belief win this time, it’s that much easier to let it win next time, and the next. KILL IT. I’ll see you in class. Love and pullups, Laura

5 comments on “I Will Never Hold a Handstand (And Other Beliefs that Hold Us Back in Circus)”

  1. cc

    As someone who happens to be studying two forms of circus arts that take particularly long to learn (flying trapeze + handstands), I wanted to share that progress with handstands (in my eyes, clearly this is just an opinion from someone on the journey) takes time because you’re training a lot of muscles that don’t otherwise get worked in that way. The shoulders-pushing-up is not really a skill that I’ve come across that happens in too many other things naturally. The other thing is, mastering a straight handstand so that you can expand from there and do a lot of other things is what takes the time. Anyone can learn how to do a handstand and get some balance–but if you can only do one that looks like a banana, don’t have the proper form, etc. etc. it’ll be a super difficult journey getting yourself to do one-arms and other fun stuff that’s more advanced. It’s the alignment and showing your body how to ‘walk’ again, but this time on your hands, that takes a long time. Learning it the right way, so to speak. Because when you get that mastered, applying that skill set to the rest of the handstands will go so much better. It’s an investment into something long term. Slow is steady, steady is fast. I heard handstands called ‘the yoga of circus’ at one point because it is slow-going. If you force handstands, they don’t work. If you put no effort in, they don’t work. There’s something very zen about them that you have to cultivate.
    The other thing is, handstands are fluid. They are still moving even when they’re not. You’re constantly achieving balance. So there’s no real ‘end’ game in that part either, because even when you have a position that’s still, it’s just that your body has learned how to achieve balance better over time, but it’s still reacting to everything. I feel this is also true about the journey. As your strength increases, flexibility gets better, and your body understands kinesthetically what to do, your handstand will evolve. Throwing it off again 😉
    The best advice I learned that I took very much to heart is–don’t practice until you get it right, practice until you can’t get it wrong. That is when you will know you’ve achieved some mastery of certain skills and can continue to work on others that aren’t there yet. I remind myself of this all the time with handstands.
    The good news is that there are so many approaches to handstands, that if you’re stuck, you can find another approach that might help to get you un-stuck, and it may just be one thing. Last night I discovered something super important about the weight distribution in my hands. I can tell already that this was what I needed to feel in order to really make that next leap for balance.
    Thanks for your post (^_^)

    • Lewitwer

      SO HELPFUL – thank you!!!!!! All of this. One of my coaches also just reminded me that I’m working with a completely different body position now (open shoulder line instead of super closed), which changes the game A LOT – it’s like a completely different skill. It really is that dance – you level up (more open shoulders, or more “push”, for example), and suddenly it feels like you’re back to square one, even though you’ve technically improved! 😉

  2. Kayleigh

    Another great post Laura! I share them on my Circus School page for fellow Teachers and Students and they always go down well!

    • Lewitwer

      Oh hooray – I’m so glad they’re helpful!!! 🙂

  3. Jaime

    Oh I so feel you on this. I have been working handstands forever with little or no progress. But, I rarely have a coach. And I get frustrated so quickly. So, even though it has been years, its never been a fully dedicated practice. Thanks for this!

Comments are closed.

Have you signed up for a class yet? What are you waiting for?

Seriously - these classes are not going to take themselves! Jump right in. Whether you "have zero upper body strength" or have been around the aerial block a few times, I'd love to see you in sessions!

Schedule Now