If you’re part of the zany world of circus, at some point, you and a teacher are going to “break up”. It doesn’t have to be awkward, but it certainly can be! When should you say toodles? More importantly, how do you say it in a way that preserves a good relationship, or so feelings don’t get hurt? Here is the penicillin for your burning questions, friends.

Why Might You Need to Say Goodbye?

There are oodles of reasons you might need to stop or pause your training with a particular coach:

• You’re moving! We’ll miss you.
  
• You’re pregnant and you need to press pause for a while while you grow a person. (Note: you don’t have to stop training while pregnant – do what’s best for you and the little kumquat.)
• You’re injured and need to rehab and heal.
• You’re in a difficult or busy season of life, and you need to focus on other things.
• You don’t have the money, honey! Sometimes, we need to stop and get our finances in a better place.
• The class times changed, and it conflicts with your schedule.
• Your current coach or class is no longer meeting your needs. Legit!
• You don’t have particularly good chemistry with your teacher.
• You’re done with circus (or this apparatus), and moving on to other pursuits.

This list is by no means exhaustive, but you get my drift.

How to Have “The Talk”

Oh glory, not THAT one! Call your mom or use google for that talk. No, I’m taking about the “I’m leaving” talk. What’s that? You weren’t going to have that talk with your teacher? You were just going to stop coming to class? Do not pass Go, do not collect $200, go directly to the next section.

Still here? Great. This talk is actually really simple! If you have a lot to say, or you want to phrase things a certain way, write it out in an email, and say goodbye in person if possible; if you have been training together a long time, face to face means a lot. Be honest (but kind) about why you’re leaving. If you’ve enjoyed working with your coach, please tell them! We get terribly invested in your circus education, and getting the chance to say goodbye or “see you soon” means a lot. Here are some quick n’ dirty examples:

• “Ms Mergatroyd! I wanted to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed your class! I’m (moving, pregnant, broke, whatever you’d like to put out there), so this is my last class for a little while. Sad face!” (cue hugs)
• “Mr Methuselah! I wanted to thank you for all your teaching and support! It’s time for me to move on to other things, but I wanted to say that I’ll see you around!”
• “Professor! Looks like I have shoulder tendinitis, so it’s off to PT with me. I’ll be back as soon as my physical therapist gives me the thumbs up!”

… and so on.

What NOT to Do

A few years ago, a student who had been with me for years told me they were going to take a break from training to get stronger, and then come back. Imagine my surprise when I saw pictures of them on social media training at a different studio! OUCH. That really hurt my feelings, and I wished they had been honest (I totally understand switching studios – they didn’t need to fib). It doesn’t have to go that way, folks!

Please don’t:

• Lie. A little buffer to spare someone’s feelings is one thing, a Big Whopping Lie is another. Be honest about going to train at other studios or with other coaches, or if you’re not planning on coming back. Polite? Yes, please! Fibby? No thanks.
• Ghost. If you’ve only taken a few classes, fuggedaboutit; but, if you’ve been there a while, please consider not ghosting. It hurts our feelings (yes, we have them)! Let us know if you’ll be gone for a bit (or for good) so we can say goodbye and wish you well.
  
• Say you’re coming back if you know you’re not.

And now, a note for teachers. Students will come, students will go. They may switch studios. They may go to your most hated competition. They may take 10 lessons, steal all your moves, and open up a studio two doors down for $5 per class with free margaritas. Yes, it’s awful. Yes, it’s unfair. Know what else it is? Out of your sphere of control. You do you! Make your classes so damned good that people will forgo the cheap thrills and margaritas in favor of your awesomeness. Make your vibe so unique it’s like apples and oranges. We can let it make us bitter or better – what’s it gonna be? (That said, you KNOW I love a candid conversation, so make sure to have one of those if a former student is being super shady. Conversation done? Make like Frozen and let it go).

Breaking up doesn’t have to get messy! It doesn’t have to be drama! Remember that your coach is invested in you, and closure is good. ♡ Love and pull-ups, Laura