Are You Ready To Go Pro?

Hello, Dear Danglers! This week I have such a treat for you – the FABULOUS Allison Williams! Enjoy!

 Are You Ready to Go Pro?

It finally happened. Someone clicked the contact button on your brand-new website and asked you to come perform at their event. This is it—the big time. Your teacher has finally said, “Yeah, that act is ready to perform.” You’ve joined some Facebook groups that talk about professional practices; you’re up to date on Laura’s blog. And you’ve noticed, Hey! Professional rates are pretty high! I’m gonna make bank! Or at least finally pay myself back for the thousands of dollars I’ve spent on training…

Whoa, Sparkle-Party! Don’t throw that triple yet!

It’s true, there’s a substantial push in the aerial “industry” for charging appropriate professional fees. Being aware of the going price, not undercutting your fellow performers, and being willing to say to a client, “That’s what aerial entertainment costs. I’m sorry you can’t afford me.”

But are you ready to be in that price range? Are you, in fact, a professional? Find out with this simple quiz!

TRUE or FALSE?

• You know the market rate for different types of event, and you’re comfortable asking for it. You can assess the non-cash value of certain performing situations.
• You own your own equipment and rigging. If you offer a particular act, you own all necessary equipment to execute that act.
• You are comfortable rigging in a variety of situations (ceiling points, exposed beams, freestanding rigs). Even if you don’t rig your own equipment, you are able to judge whether a rigging situation is safe.
• You can adapt your act to a variety of heights, moods, themes and performance lengths. You know when to say, “Sorry, that act won’t fit, I’m out.” Or, “Sorry, that act won’t fit, how about this other act?” Or, “I don’t do that act, but Cindy-Lou does, why don’t I put you in touch with her?”
• You can guard your own safety at the event by being kind but firm about what un-contracted extras you are willing/not willing to do. You are flexible and try to give the client value for money. You will sometimes do un-contracted extras that are safe and a minimum of hassle, or in exchange for something else that was contracted.
• You don’t ask if your friends can come to the event.
• You own costumes suitable for varying levels of formality, and can adapt to many themes or color schemes. You have a list of your measurements that can be provided by hitting ‘reply’ when the costume person asks for your measurements, rather than four days later after you go buy a tape measure.
• You own necessary accessories/consumables like rosin, tape, dance belt, theatrical makeup, hairspray, and clean, modest, whole cover-up/warm-up clothing.
• You have a hairstyle that works with your costume, the theme and the act, and you can do your hair in the time allotted. You have a makeup look that suits your act, is visible from the audience, and stays put.
• Your warm-up adapts to the available space and cleanliness of the warm-up area.
• You know not to hand your own card to the client and you know why. You know not to talk to the client unless you are there alone or you are the designated person who talks to the client.
• You have a short, “agent-friendly” (no contact info) video clip when someone needs to show you to the client before booking or for performer approval. In the clip, you are wearing a costume and performing a routine.

BONUS: You are able to smile at the client and say “of course!” when they ask if you “do that thing where you wrap up and come down real fast.”

11-12 TRUE: Congratulations, you’re ready to ask for professional rates in exchange for your professional-caliber performance!

Less than 11: Sorry, you still have some things to learn!

The good news: these aren’t difficult to learn. If you’re not ready yet, start putting in the time. Ask professional performers if you can come to a gig as a stage manager or gofer, be genuinely useful, and watch how they work. Ask your school for performance opportunities where you can go as an intern or junior performer, and work on someone else’s equipment and wear someone else’s costume while you learn how to do the job. If you’re young enough to work for crap pay, apply for an official internship.

Start saving up for costumes and equipment. Take a rigging workshop. Practice makeup in the mirror (that’s the fun one!). Next time you’re in a student show, make sure you get good video from a couple of angles. Ask your teachers about their most recent performances. Role-play responding to client requests, reasonable and unreasonable (it doesn’t feel dumb when you do it in the car).

Most of all, be brave about being ignorant. If you see something you don’t understand, ask (privately, politely, and after the gig). Read online discussions. Listen more than you talk. Be humble. Be helpful. We—your fellow aerialists—want you to learn these things. We want you to be professional. It makes us all look better.

Allison Williams is the Artistic Director of Aerial Angels. (www.angelsintheair.com)

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Face Palm! When Performance Goes Horribly Wrong

Story time! So, this past week, I saw an old flame for the first time in about 12 years. Now, I’m a blissfully happy married lady, but you know how this works. No matter how much of a douche he was, no matter how happy you are now, you REALLY want to look amazing when you see him. With this in mind, I booked myself an afternoon at the salon to get my color done (it’s quite the ordeal). When the poor stylist took the foils out of my hair the first time, my streak was half yellow, half lilac. I sh*t you not. So, the guy puts Extra Strong Heavy Duty Super Terrifying Bleach on my hair to try again (by this time, I was just hoping that my hair would actually stay attached to my head). We rinsed again, and success! Glorious color! But now, it was too late to blow my hair out to the sleek, sophisticated do I’d envisioned.

When You Just Want to Hide

Prepare the Right Way

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Sweet Heavens – What is that SMELL?! Whiffy Silks, Costumes, and Unmentionable Stinky Bits

As a circus performer, I often find myself playing “Name That Stench”, with costumes, fabrics, luggage, etc. Today, it’s straight talk about the (less awesome) smells of circus. Oh yes – we are going there, so grab your Fe-Breeze, Woolite, and deoderant and follow me.

Story Time

A couple of years ago, we had a gig in El Salvadore. The performance was outside in 99% humidity, and it was about 1000 degrees. After the show, I put my costume back in it’s bag, packed it into my suitcase, and completely  forgot about it until we got to our next gig a week later. I pulled the costume from it’s bag in our dressing area and cleared the room. To say that everyone gave me a wide berth is the understatement of the year. Here’s hoping the following tips will help you avoid such an eye-watering moment!

• Aerial Fabrics – Honestly? Silks (and so many other things) are best when they’re a little dirty. Clean silks are slick as snot! Yes, fabrics are whiffy when the weather gets warm, but a little dirt, sweat, and tears make ’em a dream to work on. When you can’t stand it anymore, use a gentle detergent, cold water wash, hang dry. Never bleach or put them in the dryer – degrades the fibers! Use vodka & water (50/50) in a spray bottle to freshen them in between washes. Store them in a well-ventilated spot – you’ll regret it if you don’t.
• Costumes – fancy costumes and frequent washes don’t mix! Rhinestones, sequins, foil fabrics, etc. don’t weather the laundromat well. Generally speaking, turn them inside out & hand wash them (cold water, Woolite). You can also spot clean pits and crotches, or areas with makeup stains, dirt, etc. You can also try using panty liners to absorb sweat anywhere you find yourself particularly sweaty to cut back on washing. Febreze or vodka solutions can take the edge off.
• Performance under-clothes – launder frequently! For shows, it’s best to have multiples of whatever you’re using. Hand wash and rotate. FDS can work wonders on thongs and tights that are being put to work in multiple shows. You can also experiment with all-over body deodorants like Lume if you’re prone to aromatic moments.
• Working with a partner – If you’ve ever worked physically and heavily with another person in circus, you are well-acquainted with the fun places your head unexpectedly winds up. After you’ve laughed it off (and your partner has promised to buy you dinner), consider that you two will be getting veeeeeeery familiar with one another. Get really comfortable with the idea that not everything is going to be fresh as a daisy all the time. Beyond basic hygiene (see below), get over it. Also, some folks hate scented products; if you’re working with a partner, you’ll want to be mindful of that.
• Basic hygiene – Showering is good. Soap? Shampoo? Toothpaste? All good. There’s a big difference between “a little aromatic” and “knock-you-on-your-ass BO”. Feet smell like feet, pits smell like pits. Ladies, it’s a vagina, not a rose garden. See what I’m getting at? Don’t sweat it (tee hee!) if you realize that your crystal rock deodorant isn’t doin’ it today, and cut others some slack when it happens to them. (Note: if there’s a real issue here, address it sensitively with your partner – perhaps something like this).

At the end of the day, circus is hot, sweaty, dirty, awesome work. We sweat in lots of places, and on lots of apparatus – it ain’t always pretty. Beyond a basic level of hygiene, there has to be a level of acceptance that sometimes you or your partner (or both of you) will be pretty darned stinky – embrace it! Hell, Angela and I have made a contest out of it (for the record, she always wins). 😉 So jump onto your whiffy fabrics in your stinky costume with your aromatic partner and make some eye-watering magic! See (smell?) you in the air! Love and pull-ups, Laura

Do YOU have any tips, tricks, pet peeves, or stories on this one? Leave them in the comments on the socials!

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Stoned Love: Why Performing Aerials When You’re High Is Completely Moronic

Yup – you heard me! Tough love, Dear Danglers, but this needs to be said. Is it ever okay to perform drunk or high? What about just a little drunk or high? Is it anyone else’s business if you do? Let’s dive in.

Why Performing Stoned Is A Terrible, Terrible Idea

Unless you’re Charlie Sheen, the very idea of performing while under the influence of drugs or alcohol is so completely absurd, I’m not even sure where to start. Let’s talk quickly about what the effects on the body are:

• depressants (alcohol, marijuana, prescription painkillers, etc.) –  temporarily slow down your central nervous system, which controls your bodily functions, blocking out some of the messages trying to get through to your brain. This results in slowed reaction time, impaired judgement, uncoordination, etc.
• stimulants (cocaine, ecstasy, amphetamines, etc.) – increase heart rate, body temperature, and blood pressure. This can result in confusion, heart attack, overheating, and brain damage.
• hallucinogens (‘shrooms, LSD, etc.) – causes hallucinations. Nuff said.

So let me see…. why might this be a bad idea? Slowed reflexes, impaired judgement, confusion, hallucinations… sounds SUPER SMART to me! Combine that with aerial performance, and you my friend are a Rock Star. Wait – I’m sorry – you are a Very Silly Individual Who Clearly Needs To Rethink Some Things.

What Constitutes “High” – The No Fly Zone

I myself am flying high after one beer (cheap date), and completely laid out by cold meds. Many professionals go by the Pregnancy Rule – if you can’t down it while pregnant, you shouldn’t consume it before hanging upside-down by one ankle twenty feet in the air (check with your doc about your regular prescription meds & how they might affect your circus life, then plan accordingly). I personally like to save my partying for AFTER the show, when I can totally cut loose and have TWO beers (and hope nobody posts what happens next on YouTube. Priceless.)

Why It IS My Business, And Everyone Else’s

Let me be super clear: I don’t particularly care what you choose to do with yourself, what you engage in during your free time, or whether you like to do trapeze stark nekkid with a lampshade on your head. I truly do not care. BUT, as Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr once said, “Your right to swing your fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.” None of us live in a bubble (though some of us probably should), and our actions have consequences for our community at large. So, when you choose to endanger yourself and others by performing altered, you betta believe I’m going to weigh in! Every time an accident occurs, professionals like myself face a barrage of new “safety” regulations, codes, permits, and other red tape that we have to slog through every time we want to perform in New York City – so much fun!

So snap out of it, Peter Pan! Time to put on your Grown Up Britches, and come to the party as a pro. Save the drinkie-poos for after the show – we’ll both feel better. Love and pull-ups, Laura

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